Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
