was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
