i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I party with great urgency now.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
