So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
