I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just high enough for therapy.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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