I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
