omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize