Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My dick has a subreddit
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
