can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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