Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
FUCK WHALES
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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