You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize