Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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