If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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