Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
