Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
