He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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