I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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