idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
