Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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