you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
