Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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