id be glad to
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
