This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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