singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
