for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize