there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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