Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
