with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Barsexuality is the new black.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
