after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
