i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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