He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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