Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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