you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
