Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize