you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
