Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
