first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
