so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize