i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
do herpes really smell.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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