he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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