Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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