Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
