the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
