I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
