we're blogging at a bar
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
