Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Help. Why am I so naked?
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