I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
