My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
