He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
