Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize