At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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