listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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