we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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