i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i think im in europe. pls send help
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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