Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
