Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
