I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
