Me. At least after what I've been through.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
