His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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