His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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