wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
