at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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