She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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