The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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