fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
