I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
