he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
