I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i can't believe i had my finger in that
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
