Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
