dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
