3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
